Reflections on work, life, and the little things that make a difference.
This column explores the quiet ideas hidden within everyday life – drawing meaning from ordinary moments and inviting us to see familiar things a little differently. It doesn’t claim to offer answers but hopes to bring perspective and perhaps a little calm.
Leaving Room For Another Reason
Working with vulnerable learners over the years has taught me to be careful about what I assume from what I see.
A learner who sits quietly and shows little interest can easily be labelled as having a poor attitude while someone who regularly arrives late for lessons and has a patchy attendance can be dismissed as the course simply not being important enough to them.
But I’ve learned that things are rarely that straightforward. For example, the learner who appears uninterested may have spent years believing they aren’t very good at learning, so staying quiet becomes safer than participating and risking another embarrassing experience. The person with inconsistent attendance may be juggling transport, family responsibilities or circumstances I know nothing about. When looked at that way, it is actually commendable that the person still keeps finding a way to come back in spite of the challenges.
Essentially, I’ve decided that when I don’t know the whole story, I will never begin with the explanation that thinks least of the person. And this isn’t simply about being kind – it’s also useful in a practical sense.
If I decide that someone isn’t participating because they don’t care, there isn’t much I can do with that conclusion. I might become frustrated, lower my expectations or eventually stop investing as much effort in them. But if I consider whether they’re protecting themselves from another experience of failure, my response changes. I can make participation feel safer, create smaller opportunities for success and allow trust to develop.
A Thought to Carry With Us?
I find that approaching it this way means that regardless of whether the assumption is accurate or wrong, it leaves room for something constructive to happen next. And this applies beyond the classroom as well. When someone doesn’t return our message or a colleague seems unusually abrupt, we don’t necessarily know why. But the mind doesn’t enjoy an unfinished story, so it supplies the missing explanation instead.
Perhaps the important thing to remember here is that neither the generous assumption nor the cynical one changes what actually happened but perhaps there is value in choosing an assumption that leaves room for understanding? Because that little bit of room may be exactly what someone needs to show us who they really are.
Ganga enjoys finding small insights in everyday moments and sharing them as reflections on work, life and the in-betweens. He also empowers individuals through customised digital literacy courses. You can reach him at ganga@rte.co.nz or find him on LinkedIn via the QR Code.
